


The Difference a Year Can Make

by azure_rosa



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Het Relationship, F/M, Friendship, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-26
Updated: 2012-03-26
Packaged: 2017-11-12 00:35:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/484665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azure_rosa/pseuds/azure_rosa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Minerva decides to uncover an old Valentine's Day tradition among the single staff members, the drawing of names to create couples for the year, Severus is <i>not</i> pleased.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Difference a Year Can Make

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: If you think any of these characters are mine please tell me what world you live in so I can move there posthaste!
> 
> Warnings/kinks: Hints of matchmaking!Minerva, Teddy and thus implied Tonks/Remus
> 
> Beta: The lovely countesszero/carolinelamb, all remaining errors are due to my inability to stop fiddling with things after she's fixed them.
> 
> AN: I've been trying to finish this story for _months_! Originally it was going to be my contribution for the Comm's February challenge, then it was going to be for Remus' birthday and obviously I failed epically at managing either so yay for random ficcage?

“Minerva I must object to this- this-!” I trailed off, shocked into speechlessness at the very idea.

“Severus it is just a bit of fun-”

“ _FUN_?! Fun is having a special meal or a dance to celebrate the holiday, not this!”

“So you _do_ enjoy the dances! I knew it!”

“Hardly, but they are vastly preferable to this nonsense!”

“It isn’t nonsense, it is tradition!”

“Minerva, generally you can’t call something that hasn’t been done for _centuries_ ‘tradition’ anymore.”

“I’m going to hold the Valentine’s Day drawing for all the single staff and you won’t get out of it Severus!”

“In that case you should know I'm gay.” I smirked and crossed my arms, convinced I had managed to throw her for a loop with that confession.

“Really? You aren’t just trying to get out of this?”

“Not at all. Though the fact that there are no other equally bent males on staff _is_ rather convenient for me at this particular juncture.”

Minerva merely smiled at me like a pleased feline, my first indication that somehow my plan had gone horribly awry. “Actually, you aren’t the first person to bring such an objection to this activity to my attention Severus.”

“Oh?” I was trying for nonchalance, but I suspect Minerva wasn’t fooled as she smugly answered me.

“Indeed, a certain former classmate of yours was also quite eager to avoid any awkwardness with the assigning of partners as he also is, as you so delicately put it, ‘bent’.”

It didn’t take me long to reach the natural conclusion. “But he was married!”

“When has that ever been evidence of anything?”

“He had a child!”

“See my previous statement.”

“You’d be more likely to end up short a professor than for this to go well, you do realize?”

“If Remus kills you out of sheer frustration, Severus, I doubt there would be many who would blame him, but I somehow doubt that will happen.” The steely-eyed glare accompanying that response gave me my order clearly enough; I was to play nice or she would know why not.

It was going to be a _long_ year.

*****

Minerva McGonagall was no longer exempted from the list. She had been granted amnesty because for all she was the head of house for Gryffindor and thus my rival as head of house for Slytherin we had always gotten on rather well together as colleagues, but this was just too much.

I started the list when I was nine. It kept track of those who had pissed me off to the point I wanted to remember to get them back properly in a few years when they wouldn’t see it coming. No more, with the announcement that the single members of staff would be subjected to an old Valentine’s Day ritual binding them to the person they pulled out of the Sorting Hat for an entire year she had blown through any good feeling I had _ever_ harbored for her.

I had thought with her being in charge the days of being forced to be social and participate in team building exercises Albus had been so irritatingly fond of would be over. No such luck. Apparently being a Gryffindor in charge meant one had to be an abominable busy-body who would not let the anti-social lurk in their dungeons in peace.

So I found myself in an abandoned classroom with Lupin who had suggested it as “neutral territory” for us to meet in. Once a week I was magically bound to spend three hours with him. For an entire year. Merlin must take special delight in tormenting me.

During the first week we established that sitting and staring at each other was a waste of both our time. During the second, Lupin brought a stack of board games and a deck of cards. During the third he figured out that I both could, and would, cheat at cards. The fourth week the deck of cards was mysteriously missing from the stack of games he brought to our meeting.

At the end of the second month he got fed up with being called “Lupin” and insisted I use his first name or he would ignore me. By the middle of the third month I realized he was serious and began, grudgingly, to use his name. When the third month drew to a close I realized I was actually starting to look forward to our weekly visits as opposed to dreading their approach as I had assumed I would.

During the fourth month we began to chat casually about anything and everything that came to mind as we played. I still occasionally tried to cheat, but Remus caught me more often than not. Oddly enough he didn’t seem angry when he did manage to catch me, more amused. I would guess that is when we became friends.

It was the fifth month when Remus began to occasionally seek me out other times during the week. Always with an excuse of some sort like, “Teddy still has a cough, do you think I should take him back to Poppy to be re-checked?” or “I’m not sure what to make of Ms. Fern’s drop in grades, do you know of anything that might be causing it?” He never admitted he just wanted to visit with me and I pretended not to know what he was up to.

At the end of the sixth month I finally asked one of the questions that had been burning away at the back of my mind since Minerva told me who I was to be paired with. “Why _did_ you marry her?”

Remus was quiet for a time, clearly gathering his thoughts before he answered. “We both wanted children, but were in no position to have any. She was in love with Charlie, but he was more interested in Dragons than relationships, let alone marriage and children. I was her rebound and I knew it. I categorically refused until she realized that was exactly what she was doing and I’d told her I was gay.” Remus smiled awkwardly then. “It was an arrangement.”

During the seventh and eight months we stopped avoiding sticky topics. Everything was fair game; the past, the present, even occasionally the future. We talked at length about our respective childhoods. Remus told me about his father angering Greyback, how he was bitten and more than I had ever known about the change itself from all the research I had ever done on the subject after I knew what he was. I occasionally reciprocated with anecdotes from my own childhood. Both sets of stories were told in equally flat, unfeeling voices with a very deliberate lack of eye contact on both sides. Yet from these painful talks a deeper sense of camaraderie emerged. We were not alone and now someone else properly understood. This sense of belonging and trust was likely something Remus had known before, but for me it was practically unheard of.

The ninth month, October, was hard on both of us. We opted to go without the stack of games for the last meeting of the month; instead we met in my rooms, drank too much and commiserated about our losses. I don’t remember all that was said, but I know I let my mouth run more than I usually would have even when drunk. Apparently I trusted Remus enough that I didn’t feel the need to check my tongue once I started rambling drunkenly.

After the last meeting in October Remus stopped wandering by to visit with weak excuses. In fact aside from the most cursory of conversations during meals I didn’t see or talk to him aside from our meeting a week later when he was oddly quiet and reserved. It reminded me of some of our earliest meetings when we only occasionally could bring ourselves to talk about our week to break the silence. It was stilted, awkward and I had no idea what happened to our earlier camaraderie.

For the rest of the tenth month things were better, but still slightly off. We chatted amicably once again, yet Remus seemed to hold something of himself back now. He still didn’t randomly appear with questions or concerns as an excuse to visit more frequently as he had before. I couldn’t even put my finger on what had changed in our conversations. As far as I could tell we both still talked about anything that came to mind, but something about Remus’ body language and occasionally his expression as well screamed defensive to me even though his words and tone said otherwise.

It was the beginning of the eleventh month that it finally dawned on me our year bound to each other was nearly at an end. If anyone had told me I would be saddened by that thought I’d have immediately stunned them and levitated them over to Poppy to be evaluated for surely they would have to be insane to think such a thing. And yet...

I’d gotten him something for the holidays, nothing spectacular, just a book that had come into my possession from the magic side of my family that was rather rare and, I knew, would be of interest to Remus. Merlin knew _I_ had no use for a book on the Dark Arts and the defense thereof from the time of the founders!

For the last meeting of the month we’d decided to meet in Remus’ rooms. We’d been talking for a while and after I’d already handed off my gift which had been very well received, I was the surprised recipient of a gift of my own; apparently Remus had remembered my fondness for mystery novels and had taken it upon himself to provide me with several of his personal favorites.

Theodore was walking now, it was all Remus talked about for several weeks a few months ago. Imagine my surprise when he chose to demonstrate his relatively new-found skill by toddling less than steadily, but with great enthusiasm, towards me.

I had assumed that children of all ages instinctively didn’t like me. Theodore seemed determined to disprove my assumption by doing his damnedest to climb into my lap once he reached me. He didn’t manage it, but in a rare bout of holiday cheer I not only put up with the attempt, but also helped him reach his goal by levitating him.

My assistance was unnoticed by the boy, but his joy at achieving his goal was palpable. He and his father watched me; Theodore with glee and fascination and Remus with an aura of nervousness, like he didn’t quite trust me not to hurt little Theodore. I would have been offended by the lack of trust, but I knew first hand that Remus wore such an expression whenever anyone other than himself or the house elves interacted with his son.

Remus was incredibly protective of him. I thoroughly approved of his caution; parents _should_ be protective of their offspring. I envied young Theodore’s luck to be born into a family where he had two loving parents, even if one of them had died in the war. He would always know he was loved.

“He certainly is your son.” Remus shot me a confused and mildly defensive look in response so I elaborated, “Theodore is not at all afraid of me, if anything he seems to like me. You must admit that is a rather rare trait, especially among children.”

Remus smiled fondly, at me, his son or the pair of us, I was not sure. “He has developed my good taste then.”

“Based on what?”

“Aside from his unholy loathing of Brussels sprouts?” Remus teased, “Teddy doesn’t care for the loud and boisterous nature of the Burrow, but he adores the people who live there. Then there is his apparent appreciation of your company-” Remus trailed off to laugh as Theodore decided to grab my nose and grow one to match.

Knowing that making Theodore, or any young child for that matter, let go of an item against their will merely made it more appealing to them I instead chose to, much more gently than he had, grab his nose in return. That made him squeal loudly, but as he was smiling I figured that was what I’d been told was a “happy sound” despite its shrillness. Theodore soon released my nose and I returned the favor with Remus grinning like a loon watching us interact.

“Do you appreciate my company? You could have fooled me recently.” I kept my tone carefully mild while I waited for my answer.

“How so?”

“You’ve been a bit...” I paused, searching for the proper word, “reserved as of late.”

“I’ve been thinking things through.”

“Oh? And where have your thoughts led you?”

“On a very merry chase of my own tail, or so it seems.”

“Do you care to share with the class?”

“Yes,” indecision flashed across Remus’ face, “and no, depending on when I consider that option.”

“That was as clear as mud you realize.”

Remus grinned self-deprecatingly, “Yeah, I know.”

“Did I offend you somehow? All I know is you started acting differently after we spent the evening in my rooms.”

“It wasn’t anything you said or did, Severus, it is how I reacted.”

“Have you been reading about sphinxes? I don’t think you could be much more cryptic if you tried.” Frustration with Remus’ continued beating around the bush was creeping into my tone so I took a deep breath before continuing, “Let us start at the beginning. What did I say?”

“You called me your friend.”

“And _that_ is what upset you?” I picked Theodore up off my lap, stood, and put him back on the ground; I didn’t want to worry about him falling when I could practically see the argument breaking out between his father and I. “If I had realized that being considered my friend was _so_ distasteful to you I _never_ would have said anything on the topic!”

Remus stood as well, reaching out tentatively towards me as if calming a spooked animal. “Not distasteful, Severus, disappointing.” Remus was trying very hard to calm me down with his placating tone, but I was not moved.

“I don’t see how _that_ is _any_ improvement!”

“Severus-”

“If I am so _‘disappointing’_ as a friend then it makes sense why you decided not to bother with me!”

“I wasn’t disappointed with your friendship, Severus! I was disappointed that you thought of me as _just_ your friend!”

That shocked me out of my anger. My mind raced and I said the only thing I could think of in response, “Oh.”

“Exactly.”

We both stared at each other awkwardly, unsure how to move forward in the face of that confession, the silence only broken by Theodore babbling and playing in the background. I don’t know how long we stared at each other, both waiting for the other to make the first move. At some point the clock on Remus’ mantle chimed the quarter hour and that was enough to break our staring match.

I glanced at the clock, our time had been over for more than two hours and I hadn’t even realized. We’d done nothing but talk, exchange gifts and enjoy each other’s company for over five hours straight. No games, no tricks to make the time go faster, nothing but companionship and I hadn’t even realized our time was up nearly twice over.

“I should go.”

Remus’ shoulders slumped and he responded with quiet disappointment colouring his voice. "Of course.”

“Stop that!” I snapped. "You've had _months_ to work out how you feel about all of this, don’t I deserve a bit of time to process my own?”

That startled Remus out of his sulk. “No, of course you do, I just assumed-”

“I know, just give me a few days?”

Remus beamed at me before replying with tentative hope in his voice. “You know where to find me.”

*****

“Minerva I must object-”

“Severus,” Minerva sighed at me in exasperation as she pinched the bridge of her nose as if fighting off a headache, “I’m sure we had this discussion last year, all single members of staff are expected-”

“Hence my objection.”

“What, you think I’m picking on you in particular for being a single wizard?”

“No, I’m no longer single and thus I don’t have to participate.” I smirked openly, even saying it still made me feel smug. The surprised look on her face merely sweetened my mood further.

“When did that happen?”

“Last month, if you must know.”

“Congratulations to you and your partner then! May you both reap all the rewards you deserve.”

“Is that a blessing or a curse?”

“Supposedly a blessing, but it does sound rather ominous, doesn’t it?”

“Rather on par with ‘may you live in interesting times’.”

“Regardless, you are exempt from the drawing.”

“Thank you, Headmistress. Oh, and Remus is also taken, so don’t get any wily ideas.”

As I shut the door behind me I could have sworn the Headmistress muttered, “Finally,” to herself smugly. Maybe, just this once, I could take her back off the list. After all, I doubt Remus and I would have managed to find each other without her silly little whim.  



End file.
